How to Build a Relationship with God (Even When You Don’t Feel Him)
I used to think I was doing something wrong.
I read my Bible. I prayed. I went to church. I did everything people told me to do if I wanted to “grow closer to God.” But I still felt nothing.
I’d hear people talk about how they felt God’s presence, how they had these deep, emotional moments where they just knew He was with them. But I didn’t feel anything.
I started wondering if God even wanted a relationship with me.
I figured maybe I was too messed up, too broken, too far gone. Maybe He talked to other people but not to me.
But that was a lie.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that faith isn’t about feelings. It’s about trust. And just because I didn’t feel God didn’t mean He wasn’t there.
If you’re struggling to build a relationship with God—if you’ve been doing all the right things but still feel like He’s distant—I want you to know that you’re not alone. And more importantly, I want you to know that He is with you, even when you don’t feel it.
Here’s what I learned about truly building a relationship with God, even when He seems silent.
1. Keep Showing Up (Even When You Don’t Feel Anything)
This is the hardest part.
It’s easy to seek God when you feel Him. It’s easy to pray when you know He’s listening. But real faith is built in the seasons when He feels far away.
I had to learn to keep praying, keep reading, keep worshiping—even when I didn’t feel anything. Because a relationship with God isn’t about emotional highs. It’s about consistency, obedience, and trust.
If you only seek Him when you feel something, you’re chasing emotions, not God. But if you keep showing up, no matter what, that’s when you start to really know Him.
2. Talk to God Like He’s Right There (Because He Is)
For a long time, my prayers sounded rehearsed. Like I was trying to say the right thing so God would finally answer me.
But that’s not what He wants.
God doesn’t need perfect prayers. He just wants you. The real, unfiltered, messy version of you.
When I started talking to Him like I would a friend—honest, raw, unpolished—that’s when I started to see Him working in my life.
If you don’t know what to say, start with this:
“God, I don’t feel You right now, but I want to. I don’t understand why You seem silent, but I trust that You’re here. Help me know You. Help me hear You.”
He listens. Even when you feel like your words are bouncing off the ceiling.
3. Read the Bible (Even When It Feels Dry)
I used to read the Bible because I had to. I’d skim through chapters, check it off my to-do list, and wonder why nothing was changing.
Then I realized—I wasn’t reading to know God. I was reading to feel something.
The Bible isn’t a magic book that makes you feel close to God instantly. It’s His Word. It’s how He speaks. And sometimes, you have to read it for a while before you start to see how He’s using it to shape you.
If you don’t know where to start, try this:
Psalms (for when you feel lost and need to be reminded that God hears you)
John (to understand who Jesus is and how deeply He loves you)
Romans (for foundational truth about grace, faith, and salvation)
Read even when it doesn’t make sense. Read even when you feel nothing. Because every time you do, you’re planting seeds that will grow.
4. Worship Like He’s Listening (Because He Is)
I used to think worship was about feeling something. That’s why I got frustrated when I’d sing and still feel empty.
But worship isn’t about feelings—it’s about surrender.
Worship is choosing to praise God even when you don’t feel Him. It’s declaring who He is, even when your emotions don’t line up.
If you’re struggling, find a worship song that speaks to you and play it in the background as you go through your day. Even if you don’t feel like singing, let the words sink in.
One song that got me through was “Way Maker.” The lyrics hit differently when you realize that even when you don’t see or feel Him, He’s still moving.
5. Be Still and Listen
I was so busy searching for some big sign from God that I missed the ways He was already speaking.
God doesn’t always speak through loud, dramatic moments. Sometimes, He whispers in the quiet.
Sometimes, He speaks through a verse that sticks out to you.
Sometimes, He speaks through a random moment of peace.
Sometimes, He speaks through people He puts in your life.
But if you’re too busy filling every silence with distractions, you’ll miss it.
I had to learn to be still. To sit with God without expecting anything. To just be in His presence and trust that He was there.
And when I did? That’s when I started to really know Him.
God Wants a Relationship With You—Keep Pursuing Him
If you feel like God is distant, I promise you—He’s not.
Your relationship with Him isn’t based on your emotions. It’s based on His truth. And the truth is, He’s never left you.
So keep praying.
Keep reading.
Keep showing up.
Even when you feel nothing.
Because one day, you’ll look back and realize He was speaking all along.
And that’s when you’ll understand—you weren’t building a feeling. You were building faith.
